How To Turn Your Woman Date Off

The following could just as easily be used by a woman to permanently turn off a guy, but I had to pick one gender for the title otherwise it would have sounded rather lame!

So you've finally arranged an actual first date with that totally adorable woman you met on your internet dating site! Congratulations!

You've agreed on where to have dinner, and now you're sweating about what to say and do to make sure that there will be a second date.

Here are some ideas on what NOT to do. You're pretty much guaranteed that there won't be a repeat date if you do one or, God forbid, more than one of the following on your first date. Moreover, you'll likely be getting some extremely negative online dating site reviews, and who needs that?

1. Use bodily noises - Oh yeah, this one's my favorite! I can't remember ever being more turned off when I had dinner with a guy who belched and farted his way through the appetizers, the main course AND dessert.

He thought it was perfectly normal and okay to practically turn it into a symphony of sounds, but I walked out after I finished my steak. Too bad because damn that dessert menu looked soo good!
Save the gas passing, from either direction, for married life. Even then, discretion is always better.

2. Be overly romantic - Guys, we all love romantic gestures, but two dozen roses and a strolling violinist plus a cozy candlelight dinner is over the top for a first date.

Make it a single rose, ditch the violinist and save the cozy candlelight dinner for down the road.

3. Talk talk talk, constantly - Yes, we want to know all about you, but that doesn't mean you need to develop verbal diarrhea. Shut up every now and again so your date can say a word or two.

After all, a first date is about getting to know each other, not just about you getting to know her.

4. Be very nervous - We get it, we really do, because we're nervous too! We just hide it better.

Before you meet, take some long, deep breaths to calm yourself. Extreme nervousness on your part makes you look totally insecure, and we're just not into that.

5. Call her right after your date - Nothing says clingy like calling her on the phone right after your first date.

Provided you both had fun, of course she wants you to call her! Do give it a day or two before you pick up the phone.