High-Tech Dating - DNA-Style!

Blind dating, random dating or speed dating - that's enough beating around the bush. According to a Switzerland-based biotech organization, people need online dating to get concrete and scientific answers.

The organization in question, GenePartner has announced a DNA-matching service and is looking to partner with dating sites. GenePartner will use a $199 DNA test, the cheapest on the web, for determining compatibility of prospective partners for a long-lasting relationship.
The company has derived the algorithm after analyzing "hundreds of couples". GenePartner will use a buccal swab kit to collect the DNA sample from the saliva of its members for DNA analysis. Alternatively, a GenePartner user can enter their GenePartnerID.

GenePartner is looking forward to partner with dating services that would encourage this radical DNA matching concept. However, no widely accepted neutral body has approved of this DNA-matching algorithm. But whether the algorithm works or not, one never knows when love strikes!


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Dating Tips For Nice Guys

My best friend and I, like most women, want to meet and be with a "nice man." The problem is that the nice men we have met have consistently done things that have created situations where we have no desire to continue to date them. I have quite a few "nice guy" friends who have asked me time and time again..."What are we doing wrong?" I have decided to write this for them, and for the nice guys who have ever questioned exactly what the hell was going on in our heads.

This is, in essence, a set of dating do's and don'ts for the nice guys out there. I have separated these rules into 4 sections...before the date, during the date, after the date and miscellaneous. They are generalizations and guidelines, but I would argue that they hold true for most women.

BEFORE THE DATE

DO make the first move: Yes, it sucks, but in today's world, even the most modern woman would prefer that the man make the first move. Some of us can make the first move, and occasionally do. But it's still preferable to have you do it. How do you make the first move? Walk up to us and offer to buy us a drink (if we're in a bar), ask us for a recommendation (in a bookstore/cd/movie store), or just say hi. Women do not get off on being bitchy (ok, a few do, but the majority do not) and if we're not interested we'll smile and say no thanks or walk away. Yes rejection stings, but acceptance is just as much a possibility.

DO try internet dating websites: Many women, especially busy women have gotten on board the internet dating train. Carefully construct your profile. Don't write a novel in the section where you're supposed to talk about yourself. Tell us what you do, what your passions are, and an interesting fact or two. If you have non-negotiables, this may be a good place to bring them up. My best friend and I will not date men who aren't pro-choice and pro-gay rights. Doesn't matter if he's rich, drop dead gorgeous and good in bed...without those two he's gone. There's not point in talking to women who have no interest in camping if you love it. When it asks you what you're looking for, actually create some standards. There are few things that say "desperate" to me than a man who has any any any any down his list of "potential mates."

You probably don't want to date a girl who's 3 feet tall (maybe you do, but if you do, then you probably don't want to date a woman who's 8 feet tall). If you're 18, you probably don't want to date a 60 year old woman. If you only want to date thin women, don't put that you'll date a woman with a "few extra pounds." Try to put up a picture...and find one that actually looks like you do now...not the one from 4 years ago when you had a 6 pack that has long since gone the way of the beer can. Once you're up, send winks/icebreakers to the women you find interesting. Keep it short and sweet...something to the effect of "I liked your profile, please check out mine" with a little something about you...a movie you saw recently, your thoughts on the recent political developments, whatever.

DO move it from email to aim to phone in a short period of time: Exchange two or three emails to get a feel for the person. Then move onto your instant messenger of choice. It is also acceptable to go directly to instant messenger. If things click there, take it to the phone. If they click, ask her out for COFFEE by the 3rd conversation. If you wait too long, it will never happen. Do not ask her out to dinner, go for coffee...dinner is expensive and it could be 2 hours of hell. Coffee is 20 minutes and could easily be extended into dinner should it go well.

DON'T send a novel of an email: My best friend and I recently received the exact same email from some idiot. It was long, trite and cheesy as hell. Nothing is less sincere than trying to sound like some kind of self help novel/romantic movie. Be honest about who you are. And for chrissakes, keep it short.

DON'T use bad grammar or spelling: There's such a thing as spell check. Do us a favor and use it. There was a perfectly nice guy who I stopped emailing because his emails were just plain PAINFUL to read. And it's irritating, quite frankly to see a guy write "r u into sports" instead of "do you like sports?" Take the time to write "you" instead of "u." Yes, spelling counts...not the occasional typo..we all make those. But your email to a woman is your calling card and she'll be basing her opinion on you on your email. A poorly spelled email with bad grammar says that you aren't interested in making a real effort.

DON'T keep talking to a girl if you're not interested: Yes, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but at what point do put yourself first?

THE DATE

DO show up on time, and well groomed: It's basic respect, but quite a few men seem to have missed that particular memo. Also, show up in a casual outfit like jeans and a shirt. This doesn't mean tight jeans with your hair greased up. Again, this might seem obvious, but many seem to have missed it.

DO talk: When we have to do all the talking, we think a guy isn't interested in us. Everyone has life experience to share...share yours. Maybe you think your life isn't all that interesting, but we don't know that you have siblings, or that you had the coolest dog ever when you were little. At the same time do let her talk. It's not cool to hog the conversation.

DO pay: It's perfectly okay not to, but it's a sign of respect. Which again argues for asking her out for coffee. Should you not click, you're only out $6 at most.

DON'T show up with a ton of gifts: A friend was recently embarrassed when a guy showed up with candy, AND flowers, AND a balloon. Can we say overkill? If you feel the need to bring over something, make it a single flower, or a bunch of simple flowers like daisies. Red roses are trite, uncomfortable and too much. A single rose is acceptable when it isn't red...go for yellow, parchment, or a funky rose. The best flower I ever got on a first date was a rose that had been died blue and dipped in silver glitter. It wasn't the best because it was a rose...it was that it was really interesting and original. Flowers are really for the 2nd date (and even then, stay away from red roses...which are for girlfriends, not dates). Balloons are only acceptable on birthdays. Candy is a kind of random gift...on Valentine's Day maybe, if she's your girlfriend. Or perhaps if you took a trip to Switzerland or Germany or something and wanted to bring back some of that exquisite chocolate. And, please God, stay away from stuffed animals.

DON'T make the offer to take us to dinner if you don't want to: The worst dinner I ever had was with a guy who I hadn't clicked with, and made the mistake of taking the offer to dinner with. It was 45 minutes of boredom. Spare us, and spare yourselves.


DON'T try to hold our hands until we give you a sign that we're interested: A sign that we'd like you to hold our hands is to put our hand on the table, slightly extended, with the palm up. Wait for this signal. Some girls aren't comfortable with PDA's.


AFTER THE DATE

DO go in for a kiss, if you think things went well: Most women are open to a good night kiss to see if there's physical chemistry. Keep it closed mouth at first, and see if she's responding. If she turns her head, bad sign. If she responds, good sign and potentially move in for an open mouth kiss.

DO drop her a phone call or email after the date: However, I mean the day after the date. Wait at least 12 to 18 hours. Again, keep it short...Had a great time, would you like to do that again? Don't drone on about how hot she is, how much you'd like to see her again, and unless you won a million dollars, don't say it was the best date ever...again it looks desperate.

DO respect her response: If she agrees to a second date, go for it. Don't make it for that night however. If she says no, then respect it...don't email her some wounded response. Keep it for your friends.

DON'T badger her: There was a guy who my best friend was going to give a second date to. Until he emailed her 4 times and texted her another 3-5 times in 24 hours. That is stalking. If she doesn't respond to your ONE email OR voicemail, wait 3 days. Still nothing, drop a one line email that says "haven't heard from you, was wondering if you got my message." If she still doesn't respond, don't continue to pursue her.

DON'T use pet names early on: I once decided to stop talking to a guy who called me princess in our first instant message conversation. I was disappointed because he seemed like a cool guy. However, the use of pet names is uncomfortable, and sends the whole desperate/cheesy message. I'm not talking about the occasional hon or darlin', both of which I use with everyone. I'm talking about "angel" "gorgeous" "princess" etc.

DON'T have the relationship talk on or just after the first date: No one wants to talk about "where we're going" after ONE date. We're not even sure if we want a second date sometimes.

MISCELLANEOUS

DON'T try to date before your current relationship is over or just after it has ended: It's not fair to you or your date if you're still in love with someone else. And if your date confesses that they're still in love with their ex, make a graceful exit. Understand that sometimes people think they're ready to date, when the truth is that they're anything but, and they need that experience to know it.

DO understand that it's entirely possible to be totally into someone before a first date and totally not into someone once you meet them: Chemistry is a tricky thing and although you may have the best chemistry ever on the phone, you may have nothing in person.

DO try something other than your normal type: I'm not saying ignore your non negotiables...I'm saying if you've only ever dated blondes, try a brunette. If you've only ever dated lawyers, why not date a banker? If your type had worked, you wouldn't be single, now would you?

DO go with your gut instincts: If your gut tells you that this isn't happening, don't take it further.

FINAL THOUGHTS

JUST WHERE DO I MEET GIRLS? The question I have gotten perhaps more frequently than any other is "so where do I meet girls?" My answer is NOT in a bar. I have yet to meet a serious relationship in a club or a bar. I strongly suggest internet dating...it has worked for many people I know (and has led to two engagements in just my friendship circle). I also suggest looking in places where people with your interests gather. Some examples...if you're into Trek...go to a Trek convention. Comics/Anime...Anime con. BDSM...join the local group. If you're into books, try bookstores. If you're into a type of music, go to see your type of bands in the local music scene...keep an eye on what girls keep showing up...approach them. And if you meet a girl at an event type thing, you then also have a handy topic to bring up to break the ice.

WHAT IF I GET REJECTED? We all get rejected. The hottest people get rejected. And as I said before...we don't live to hurt people's feelings. Most women will try to let you down easily. The bottom line is that we're all looking for the same thing and we have to sometimes kiss a lot of frogs to find our prince or princess.

WHY DO WOMEN ONLY SEEM TO LIKE ASSHOLES? It's not that we like assholes. To be honest, it's that we like a challenge. If you throw yourselves at us, you are in no way a challenge. You're too easy, in fact. I'm not saying that you should be cold and distant...I'm saying that when you make it clear to us that we can have you and have everything we want from you without question, it's not interesting. You need to have your own opinions. You need to be a person outside of our boyfriend or date. The truth is that we do want a nice guy. "Bad Boys" call us once and wait for us to call them back...they tell us that they want to do something, rather than asking us constantly...and they say things that make us want to respond.

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS WANT TO BE JUST FRIENDS? You just haven't the right girl. As I said, chemistry is weird. But be careful on whether or not you agree to be friends with her. If you desperately want to date her, the answer should be "NO." There is NO shame in saying "I don't think I want that, sorry." Don't try to be her friend, laying in wait until she's single in hopes that you'll get your shot once she gets to know you. If she wants to be your friend, that's the best you've got coming. The truth is that we're pretty sure if we can see ourselves sleeping with you or dating you by the end of the first date, second date at the latest.

We want to meet you. We want to date you. Hell, we want to marry you. But we need to meet you first and that's not going to happen if you're hiding in your office or sitting at your computer reading this. Put yourself out there...it will be worthwhile.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!



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The Sweet Smell Of Success

As that great British pop group 10cc put it in their 1977 hit: "The things we do for love, the things we do for love, like walking in the rain and the snow ..."

And brushing your teeth, it seems. Yes, a new survey has revealed that not having breath like a moose's fart means you'll have more success in luurve and life. Who knew? Who knew?

The survey, conducted by a bunch called pureprofile on behalf of dental products group Oral B, questioned 1001 people nationally and discovered that 96 per cent of Australians surveyed agreed that bad oral hygiene affected the enjoyment of kissing.

(It is unbiasedly best to report here that the survey was conducted - and this is the company's word - to celebrate the launch of the new Oral B CrossAction Pro-Health, featuring a "textured tongue-cleaner". Is this a toothbrush or a new cross-trainer? It's a hell of a mouthful, either way.)

But back to our statistics. Ninety-six per cent of you think breath that could kill a poodle at 20 paces affects the enjoyment of kissing. Fair enough. Remaining upright is always a good start for a romance but think about it, people; this means that 4 per cent - 40 or so from a 1001-strong sample - think it doesn't affect the enjoyment. Really?

It gets worse. Sixty-one per cent of respondents say they have stopped snogging someone because of "bad oral hygiene". By which they mean breath so bad you can light it to keep mozzies away. Of course, it doesn't explain how you managed not to notice this until you actually had your head halfway down their gullet. A conundrum for another time, perhaps.

Break this statistic down along gender lines and women take a civilising step up (to 70 per cent) while men - and you know who you are - plummet to a grubby 54 per cent. Logically, this means 46 per cent of men would happily swap spit with a woman whose mouth whiffs like three-week-old Queensland roadkill.

Perhaps this is the deep-seated cause of the so-called epidemic of binge drinking; with only 65 per cent of women brushing their teeth twice a day it's the only way we can get near almost one-third of womankind. Next time he's kissing you, ladies, those might not be tears of joy in his eyes.

Bad oral hygiene can also, according to the survey, affect your career. High income earners (greater than $120,000 a year) questioned believe people with bad breath are less likely to be promoted at work. They are also believed to be less disciplined and less professional.

"If you feel success is eluding you," says the Oral B press release, "one factor to consider is your oral hygiene habits."

Hmmm, seems they don't call it the sweet smell of success for nothing. So buy yourself a toothbrush that can get to those difficult-to-reach areas, make sure you massage those gums, scrub that furry tongue with a spoonful of Dettol and an old copy of The Bulletin. Do that and the world is your lobster. Success will beat a path to your door and you will have lovers throwing themselves at your feet. And they'll be conscious, too.


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Sex Swap Husband To Live With Wife As a Lesbian

They do look an odd couple. Lorna's only 5ft 4in tall and her 6ft 5in partner Lucy towers over her.

But it's not just the height difference that stands out... they have an amazing story to tell.

Lucy used to be Karl Ellis - a tall, handsome father-of-three with a good job as a computer engineer.

Secretly, though, Karl was a cross-dresser who liked to wear his wife's clothes about the house. Then last October he changed his name by deed poll to Lucy Jayne.

But even that could not have prepared Lorna for the next bombshell. Barely into the new year, 27-year-old Karl told her: "I want to become a real woman."

And if that wasn't shock enough, he told her that once he has had a sex change, he wants them to stay together ...as lesbians.

"I just couldn't believe it," recalls Lorna. "This was my husband saying he wanted to be my girlfriend. All I knew is I wanted to be with him. He was my first love and I couldn't imagine life without him.

"I blamed my-self and felt a complete failure as a woman. Should I have been able to convince him that he was a real man? Could I have a lesbian relationship when I knew I was heterosexual?"

Sitting by Lorna's side in their living room in Nantwich, Cheshire, Karl - now Lucy - says: "I hope we can work it out and stay together."

"Lucy" is in a black dress - with a telltale hint of stubble, an adam's apple and a tattoo on a muscular bicep.

The couple first became good friends at school more than 10 years ago. Karl shared his taste for dressing in women's clothes with Lorna when she was just 16.

One evening in her bedroom, she slipped off her top and handed it to him. Lorna, now 23, recalls: "He slipped it on.

Giving a twirl, he asked 'How do I look?'."

Cross-dressing sessions became a regular thing. A year later, the pair went out clubbing together and ended up in a passionate embrace.

A month later, in August 2002, they got a flat together. That year Lorna, still only 17, realised she was expecting.

Jessica was born in June the following year and the next year they had another daughter, Emma.

They tied the knot at Crewe register office in August 2006 and nine months later Amy was born.

Karl continued to cross dress and one night, as he flaunted himself in her lace underwear, Lorna asked: "Do you actually want to be a woman?" Lucy - then still Karl - gazed down at the floor and replied: "Yes. I've tried to bury it, but I can't."

Lorna was horrified and yelled: "Don't you think you should have thought about this before we had the kids?"

Composing herself she asked if he wanted a sex change operation. He said he wasn't sure. Karl continued the story: "We sat down and talked about it. Then we went to the doctors to see if they could help me with Lorna's support."

Karl has to live as Lucy, a woman, for two years before a sex change operation can be considered - and in the meantime the couple are still enjoying sex as man and wife.

"It's not on a regular basis," said Lorna. "We can still enjoy sex as a husband and wife, but it is changing."


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Chile Pole Dancer Arrested

Police in Chile have arrested a stripper who was attempting to remove her clothes outside the presidential palace in the capital, Santiago.

Her arrest comes three days after she performed a series of striptease dances on the Santiago underground, the metro.

Monserrat Morilles told reporters that her performances were aimed at challenging the prudishness of Chilean society and that they would continue.

Chilean media has dubbed her "La Diosa del Metro" or the Metro Goddess.

'Timid country'

Ms Morilles, 26, called her performances "happy minutes."

A professional pole dancer, she boarded the train at one station, and stripped down to skimpy underwear in time to exit at the next station.

"This is just a beginning. We are starting an idea here that will grow and be developed further," she told Reuters news agency as she was being taken into custody.

"Chile is still a pretty timid country," her manager, Gustavo Pradenas, said.

"People aren't very extroverted and we want to take aim at that and make Chile a happier country."

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News flash! Condoms protect against HPV

www.salon.com
Today's New York Times reports on the most conclusive study to date regarding the correlation between condom use and decreased incidence of the human papillomavirus (HPV), a cause of genital warts and cervical cancer. The five-year study found that "consistent use of condoms protects against HPV."

The study was funded by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, a federal agency, and was conducted at the University of Washington at Seattle from December 2000 to June 2005. Results show that "women whose male partners used condoms every time they had sexual intercourse had less than half the rate of infection as did women whose partners used condoms less than 5 percent of the time." According to the Times, "researchers followed 82 female students ages 18 through 22 from the time they said they had their first sexual intercourse with a male partner. Every two weeks, the women electronically filed information about their daily sexual behavior and condom use to a protected website. Every four months the researchers tested the women for papillomavirus and early indications of cancer." A researcher also conducted personal interviews with the participants.

If this study is indeed "definitive," as James R. Allen, president of the American Social Health Association, who was not involved in the study, told the Times, it puts to rest concerns that condoms are only partly effective, if at all, against HPV and other sexually transmitted infections. The results also take the pressure off the recently FDA-approved HPV vaccine, which some conservatives are complaining will increase sexual promiscuity among teens.

The findings should make condom labeling more straightforward as well. In 2000 a panel of four government agencies determined that there was "inadequate information about condom use in reducing the risk of all sexually transmitted infections except for the AIDS virus and, among men, gonorrhea" and the "FDA was urged to add a warning to condom labels about the lack of protection against HPV."

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Men: Score! Women: Whoops!

www.salon.com
What do you know, women still experience more regret over one-night stands than men do, according to a new study. Researchers at Durham University in the U.K. surveyed 1,743 men and women about their morning-after feelings and found that 80 percent of men and 54 percent of women reported feeling good after a hookup; men also feel more confident and sexually satisfied afterward, and are more likely to brag to friends about it.

I suppose hookup hand-wringers might argue that this study is proof that young women are hooking up and tuning out, that they're having casual sex because they think they're supposed to and not because they want to. That may, indeed, be true in some cases, but I'd sooner believe that this study illustrates the familiar stud-slut double standard. Even young women of the hookup generation -- and I am one -- aren't immune to culturally commanded sexual shame; greater permissiveness toward one-night stands doesn't necessarily make it easy for women to feel proud of their sexploits. On the same note, it's no surprise women report less sexual satisfaction from their hookups: Plenty of women don't exactly experience sexual shame as an aphrodisiac, and hookup culture doesn't emphasize female pleasure so much as it does humping like bunny rabbits.

The researchers, however, focused on biological rather than cultural explanations for the study's results. "In evolutionary terms women bear the brunt of parental care and it has been generally thought that it was to their advantage to choose their mate carefully and remain faithful to make sure that their mate had no reason to believe he was raising another man's child," said lead researcher Professor Anne Campbell. "But recently biologists have suggested that females could benefit from mating with many men -- it would increase the genetic diversity of their children and, if a high quality man would not stay with them forever, they might at least get his excellent genes for their child." I'll leave you with the study's ultimate conclusion because it gave me a good chuckle: Women have yet to catch up with this bio-logic and "adapt" to meaningless sex.

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