British Women Seek Younger Men

Copyright 2007 by United Press International
A British survey suggests that an increasing number of women over the age of 45 are seeking relationships with younger men.

The survey of 1,200 adults conducted by London-based Parship dating service found that the number of older women seeking younger men rose by 20 percent over the course of one year to nearly one in 10, The Daily Mail reported Monday. Of that number, 3 percent said they are seeking men more than 10 years their junior.

The survey found that approximately two-thirds of women seeking younger men live in rural areas and many of them use Internet dating sites to find companionship.

For their part, younger men aren't entirely adverse to being pursued by older women, the survey found. Five percent of men between 25 and 35 years of age said they are seeking relationships with older women and 47 percent of male respondents said age has little to do with love.



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Online Dating - Post Divorce Therapy

www.stuff.co.nz

"Jane" needed post-divorce love therapy. She got it at online dating websites.

Dating therapy? I'm sure all of you fellow divorcees know what I'm talking about.

However, for those still wondering, let me explain how my online-dating therapy worked, and perhaps my crazy adventures may remind you of your own healing journeys.

Like many freshly separated people, I was one of the walking wounded, with the self-esteem of a flea. I was encouraged to try online dating by a girlfriend who regularly had enormous bunches of roses, chocolates, lingerie and perfume delivered to her door by romantic suitors from all over the world.

All right, she's a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde, and I'm, well, not. But I needed to "get back into the game", or so I thought.

After a string of disappointing dates who looked very little like their profile photos, I decided to use online dating to expand my horizons and experiment in unknown territory. I began as "insecure and desperate", progressed through "flirtatious tease", "potential sugar-baby", "seductive Mrs Robinson", "mischievous prankster" to "serious seeker". Eventually I settled on "happy single".

The first place I tried was www.findsomeone.co.nz, a perfectly good site for internet virgins and serious seekers if you create the right profile.

In my photo, I was wearing a little red dress. Unfortunately, this attracted the wrong kind of attention, and one man even contacted me saying that he was "having a lot of fun manipulating my photo" and would I "give him permission to publish it on his website?"

I promptly took that photo off my profile, and subsequently received fewer messages. On the whole however, findsomeone was a reasonably respectable and conservative site.

I then tried www.adultfriendfinder.com, which was more open minded and social. I didn't post a photo, but received many inquiring messages. It was on this site that I became more adventurous.

After receiving a few messages from much younger men, I decided that I would date a lad Mrs Robinson-style.

In my previous relationships, and my marriage, I had been a sexually submissive woman, and I theorised that perhaps with a younger partner I could unleash a more dominant side.

Unfortunately, my young date had a nervous laugh and I found myself not wanting to offend his lack of experience by saying, "do it like this" or "do that". Turns out I prefer men not boys.

This led me to a man profiling himself as a "sugar daddy". Although I wasn't young enough to be his sugar baby, I began chatting with this unusually handsome and articulate chap.

I found myself being more forthright with him as I found my mojo and left my insecure self behind.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be insecure. He continuously post-poned dates until I gave up on meeting him.

Chatting online and flirting was great for my self-esteem, as I could be as bold as brass and not even have to meet anyone in person if I didn't want.

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who got me into online dating also got me into mischief. She had been dating someone for a couple of months and wanted to see where she stood. He still had his profile online and asked me to message him and see if he would date me. Don't try this.

We arranged to have coffee, but instead of me turning up at the cafe, my friend arrived instead.

You can imagine the trouble. Mind you, on a similar, but more transparent occasion, I scored a ride in a Ferrari with one of her suitors, so it wasn't all bad.

I quickly lost interest, however, when he began joking about threesomes.

After these dates, and a few other unmentionables, I was well on my way to becoming a more assertive, adventurous, self-confident woman the kind I remembered that I once was so many moons ago.

As karma would have it, I then began attracting insecure, desperate men. One of them left several messages sobbing into my telephone after I declared those dreaded words, "There's no spark for me". This was after only a few dates and not even a kiss.

Then there was the man who assumed that I wanted to hook up for sex when my profile said I was "looking for seriously good coffee". Apparently for some on nzdating, "coffee" is synonymous with sex.

Thankfully, my son fell ill and the babysitter called me home.

Yes, online dating can be great therapy for both sexes.

Thanks to my crazy adventures and fearless online experimentation, I'm now happy to be single offline.

No doubt the internet will beckon again. When that day comes, I will be in a much better position to weed out the wannabes, the desperate and those who send photos of their apparatus.

Thanks to online-dating therapy, I now know myself better, like myself better, and know what kind of man I want to meet.



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Things Your Woman Date Wants to Hear

In some ways, women are a bit like Labradors (a certain breed of dogs): if you say the right things in an appropriate tone of voice, they'll do what you want.

Alternately, women also have the potential to be like caged lions, and if you piss them off and are dumb enough to stand around, they'll rip your head off. For that reason, we want to highlight some of the things that women love to hear and show you how certain phrases can consistently be used to score major points. Of course, the last thing we want to do here is spew out a list of platitudes that every guy knows women never get sick of hearing. Instead, we'd like to suggest some alternative phrases and the reasons why they are so effective.

These are not pickup lines; they're phrases meant to be used on a girl you already know. Perhaps you've been dating and you want to take things to the next level. Or maybe it's even a long-term girlfriend and you've been going through a rough patch. You might even be a bit worried that she's losing interest and is starting to look around for something else. Whatever the case, the following is meant to give you an idea of different ways to verbally press her buttons by saying things women love to hear.

Generally, the things women love to hear can be placed into four categories: compliments about her appearance, words confirming your commitment to a future together, verbal displays of territorialism, jealousy, and questions that demonstrate interest in her life.

Give compliments

The comedian Chris Rock said that women need three things: food, water and compliments. So, it's not a matter of women just wanting to hear compliments, they actually can't live without them. If they don't get them, they might even shrivel up and die. If you can periodically reel off a nice compliment and genuinely mean it, don't hesitate to do so because the benefits will come back to you in spades. However, be careful not to flood the air with empty flattery, as even the most attention-starved girl will see through your seduction strategy and call you out.

Examples of things women love to hear:
* "You look incredible." It's simple and effective. Every girl wants to hear this, particularly when she has gone to some trouble to look nice.
* "Those jeans look great on you." This is a polite (and obvious) way of telling her that she has a nice ass.

Show commitment

When you include her in your future plans, you're giving her a glimpse of the security - whether she's 19 or 36 - that she probably craves. So, say something that indicates to her that you intend to be a part of her life for a long time. Invite her to a high school reunion that's still six months away. It's enough to let her know that you envisage a future together, but not so bold as to suggest marriage and the rest of it.

We have more things women love to hear for you to memorize ...

* "I'd love to take you to (enter place of choice) this summer."
* "I'm not interested in anyone else." In any relationship, questions will inevitably arise about your commitment to her, so when she asks, say something like this to counter her doubts and reassure her that you've found all you ever needed.

Be Jealous

Being creatures of the natural world, women expect men to be the protectors in a relationship. And when we don't act like it, they get irritated and begin to look elsewhere. We have to show them how much we care, which means that we have to get territorial once in a while. We're by no means suggesting violent outbursts and paranoid accusations, but rather, some gentle prod¬ding that demonstrates that you don't want to lose her to anyone. At the end of the day, if you don't take an interest in your girl's well-being, someone else will come along with an offer to do so.

Examples of things women love to hear:

* "Where were you?" You don't have to be suspicious, just inquire about her whereabouts from time to time.
* "Who's that guy?" Ask her this in a half-joke, half serious tone and she will think it's cute that you're still evaluating the competition.



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The Dating Game: Sometimes Bad Experiences Offer Good Lessons

Dating is full of ups and downs. The ups are the good dates you wish would last forever. The downs are those dates from hell — the ones you wish you could erase from your memory permanently.

Most single women have had both — like Elizabeth Aven, 30, of Oklahoma City and Brittany Meadors, 24, of Edmond.

Aven recalls one really bad date. She had gone out a few times with a guy who seemed "nice and normal.” Against her mother's advice to never invite a man to her house unless she knew him really well, she invited her date over after dinner. After a few minutes, he started getting a little too friendly.

"I just told him he was going to need to back off,” she said.

He backed off but seemed annoyed.

"About 10 minutes later, he was like, ‘OK, I've got to go,' and he just left,” she said.

Glad he was gone, Aven grabbed a snack and kicked her feet up in front of the TV.

"Maybe 45 minutes later, I get a knock at my door and it was a cop,” Aven said. "She said, ‘Hey, we got a call from someone that you were going to hurt yourself or, I don't know, try and kill yourself.'

"I was like, ‘I have no idea what you're talking about at all. I'm just sitting here just hanging out, watching TV.'”

After a few minutes of checking for evidence that Aven might be suicidal, the officer asked if she knew who might have filed the false report. She related the story of her bad date, and the two women shook their heads in wonder at the nerve of her date.

Don't go trying to change me
Meadors had dated the same guy for several years. She met him when she was 19 and working at a mall. On their first date, he was Prince Charming, she said, but soon after they became a couple, he began treating her badly.

"Not even two weeks into it, he got mad because I talked to a guy friend,” she said. "He ended up not talking to me for the rest of the evening. Stuff like that continued, and I just took it.”

When the two started dating, Meadors lived with her parents, who enforced a rule that she would be picked up and dropped off by her dates.

"He lived on the south side, and I lived in Midwest City,” she said. "He always expressed how much he hated having to drive all the way to my house to pick me up and to take me home. I thought that was really rude.”

But Meadors was so taken with her new boyfriend's good looks, she tolerated his bad manners for years. She said she always thought that he was the best she could do and that she could change him.

"You think that you're in love with them and you think that you can change people, but you can't,” she said.

Their relationship was on and off. He would break up, then ask her to come back. The final straw came on a Valentine's Day. He called her about 4:30 p.m. to see whether she wanted to meet for drinks.

"I was immediately irritated after I hung up the phone because I felt like I should have been picked up, and it just killed the mood the whole time,” she said. "It doesn't matter if I date you for a couple months or a couple years, I still want to be picked up and taken home. Especially on Valentine's Day.”

Meadors admits she made a lot of mistakes in that relationship. She knows that she mistakenly thought she could change him. She said she wasn't happy with herself and therefore, wasn't able to really be herself.

But she said she is glad to be rid of him so she can concentrate on her career and making herself happy.



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