Getting Your Boyfriend Back

Break-ups can definitely be devastating. If you've just been through one, you may be left feeling disillusioned and confused. The initial shock is difficult to get through, but this is also a very critical time if you are holding out any hope of getting back together with your boyfriend.

Once the break-up has taken place, the first thing you need to do is to assess the situation and decide if there is a chance to win your boyfriend's heart back. If the break-up happened due to infidelity, it will be much more difficult for reconciliation, forgiveness, and healing. The process will be slow and he will have to learn to trust you again.

Depending on the circumstances surrounding the separation, the initial shock can take such a toll on your emotions that it can often cause a person to do and say things that they will deeply regret later on. Regardless of the stress you may be under, it is imperative that you take control of the situation and especially of your own actions. Remember, if you want the opportunity to win your boyfriend back, now is not the time for fits of rage, stalking, or any other actions that can be held against you later.

If the cause for the break-up was not due to unfaithfulness, then it is important to keep in mind the fact that he originally dated you for a reason and once he is away from you, chances are good that he will realize what he is missing. That is why it is critical to remain in control during this initial period.

During the first stages after a relationship ends, the man carries around his mental list of reasons why the separation was necessary. He continues to tell himself, especially when he starts feeling lonely, that this was the right thing to do. During this time frame, if you reinforce his reasoning by acting out in anger against him, this will only serve to solidify his decision.

Instead, take this cooling off period as an opportunity to work on yourself. Keep your self-esteem high by joining the gym, getting your hair done, socializing with friends. It is when you remain secure and calm that he will have the opportunity to remember the good times with you and begin to miss you.

By remaining calm and offering an opportunity to talk, you are showing him that you are not only self assured, but mature and able to handle even highly emotional and traumatic events. Believe it or not, this will be highly attractive to your ex boyfriend.

If he hasn't called and it's been over two weeks since the break-up, it's a good idea to keep communication open by emailing or calling to ask how he is doing. Nothing too serious, just let him know that you are thinking of him and let it go. If you feel a positive reaction from him, it is fine to ask him if you two can talk over lunch or at a park.

Most women make the deadly mistake of immediately destroying his belongings, bad-mouthing him to friends, hitting the bars, or dating someone else in an effort to make him jealous. All terrible choices that can ruin any chance for reconciliation. If you want to get back together with your boyfriend, give him that cooling off period and then offer him the open door to get back together. Be ready and willing to discuss the problems that led to the break-up. All of these things will get you back on the path to a happy, healthy relationship.