Dating Someone Who Morphs Into A Different Person

Have you ever dated someone who seemed like they would morph into a different person in every circumstance that they were in? We all do this to a certain extent, but there are some people who become someone entirely different when they are put into different situations and this can be a bit confusing or off putting for the more normal person. People who change in this way are often called chameleons because they are able to change their colors depending on the surroundings.

Dating someone who is like this can be complicated especially if you have always known them in one setting. You fell for the person based on what you saw in this one setting and you have always enjoyed their company. Now you go somewhere new with them and suddenly they seem like someone else entirely. How do you respond?

It can be a bit perplexing and you may just want to sit back and watch. You may realize that your date is just trying to fit in and after they warm up you should wait and see if they come around a bit and start acting more like the person you have gotten to know. You should pay particular attention to how they act toward you. Most of the time, if someone acts a little bit different in another setting they still treat you the same, you can look past it. If the person not only behaves differently but treats you differently, this can be a little bit more difficult to move past.

If they treat you differently you should talk to them about how they change from setting to setting. You may want to let the first time just pass and see if it happens again. If you find that your date is truly a chameleon then it is time to sit down and talk to them. Let them know that how they change from one situation to the next is uncomfortable for you.

Talk about why they do this and if you can help them be more comfortable with who they really are. You may need to ask, as politely as possible, if the person you know is the real them or if they have been putting on airs for you, too. Let them know that you enjoy their company but you find it disturbing how much they change from situation to situation.

Many chameleons don't realize that they do this and they may actually be surprised by the discussion. Others realize that they do it and they have no shame over it. You need to decide for yourself if you can keep dating someone who is so unpredictable in social settings. Many people find that they just cannot deal with the unknown every time they step out of the house with such a person.